What's wrong with me?

I don't understand it. I want to do well. I want to see myself do well. I want to try, and I want to excel, but for some reason, I can't focus.

I don't have that drive that....well, I guess I never really had it to begin with. The high school diploma is mostly because Mom was able to wake me up at 7am for four straight years. I took care of the rest, but I was there for the people, the friendships.

That's pretty much still the exact same, except my schedule is working against me. I'm floating in the gray area between no class time and not enough class time. Either way, I supposedly have to pick all of this up on my own...but it's my own fault for slacking off. $25,000 later, I've learned a valuable lesson.

If I'm going to be doing anything the next few years, I'm going to be doing it for me.

4-year-plan: to be on a revenue generating career path that I can stand going to 4-6 days a week. Whether it's with a non-profit organization, or a fortune 500 marketing firm, I want to find pleasure in what I do. I would also like to gain 15lbs of muscle and learn how to play the guitar. Oh! Almost forgot. I want to also learn CSS, and take some French in there at some point. Baby steps....baby steps. need the bachelors before I can attempt the masters...

I think the toughest part about everything I've been going through the past few years is that my lack of focus has translated into a lack of motivation. I didn't want to be an engineer...stuck in a cubicle all day doing something involving matrices and trig functions...

All my adult life, I've told myself that I spent too much time on the interweb. Maybe I could actually make a living off of it.